License to be a MOM

Single. Black. Licensed to Be a Mom. The Blueprint for Foster-to-Adopt

The Blueprint for single women fostering to adopt.

Hey, I’m Mika.

I did it alone. As a single Black woman. No husband. No white picket fence. And I brought my daughter home.

If you have ever wondered if foster care is even an option for you, if you are “allowed,” the answer is yes. You are not only allowed. You are needed.

“Reunification is the goal. Until it is not.”
Mika, founder of License to Be a Mom

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My Story

The real version. All of it.

Christmas 2021

It was Christmas 2021. My 7-year-old niece climbed up next to me, looked me dead in the eyes, and asked, “Mika, do you want to be a mom?”

I did not have an answer. But that night, God confirmed it. Twice.

January

I signed up for a foster care info session. Not one person on that Zoom looked like me. I signed up anyway.

The Calls

Multiple calls received. Multiple calls that did not lead to placement. The phone rings, your heart races, you prepare everything. And then silence. Nobody warns you about this part.

The Wee Hours

My first placement arrived in the wee hours of the morning. A newborn. She taught me how to mother. How to show up for someone who needed me before I even had the words for what was happening.

“She changed me before I had language for it.”

Reunification

In foster care, reunification is the goal. You know this going in. You say it out loud. And then the day comes and the grief is real and it is heavy. You grieve because you loved well. Reunification is the goal. Until it is not.

“I grieved. And I would do it again.”

Three Months Later: March 14th

I got the call about a little girl who needed a home. But they sent her to another family. Two days later, my phone rang again. She needed a new placement.

March 16th

She came through my door. I picked her up for the first time, and she took the deepest sigh. Like her whole little body just exhaled. Like she was saying, “I’m finally home.”

She could not talk. She could not walk. But that little body knew something the paperwork did not say yet.

“She was already mine. And I was already hers.”

Finalization

I adopted Baby Who Who from foster care. Single. Black. Mom. A family built on faith, patience, and a whole lot of paperwork. The journey does not end at finalization. It transforms.

Read My Full Story

Who I Am. Why This Exists.

I am Mika. A single Black woman who logged into a Zoom info session where not one person looked like me, said yes to a system that was not built for women like me, and built a family anyway.

My first placement arrived in the wee hours of the morning. A newborn who taught me how to mother. How to love fiercely while holding loosely, because in foster care, reunification is the goal. When it was time to let go, I grieved. And I meant every tear.

“Reunification is the goal. Until it is not.”

Three months later, I got the call about a little girl. On March 16th, she came through my door. I picked her up and she took the deepest sigh. Like her whole little body just exhaled. She could not talk. She could not walk. But that little body knew something the paperwork did not say yet. She was already mine. And I was already hers.

If you have ever wondered if foster care is even an option for you, if you are “allowed,” the answer is yes. You are not only allowed. You are needed.

Whether you are just curious, knee deep in the process, or already parenting and wondering if you are doing it right, this space is for you. Because here is what I know for sure: Black women do adopt. Single women do foster. And the system, as imperfect as it is, has room for women like us.

Welcome to License to Be a Mom.